by Herschell Gordon Lewis
Curmudgeon-at-Large has done it again…this time with a scathing
analysis of how bad advertising--based on false notions of
"creative, over-produced and under-thought-out sales appeals, and
just plain stupidity and dishonesty--are costing all of
us--business people and consumers, sellers and buyers--a lot of
Table of Contents
SECTION ONE The Ignoble Art of
1 The Sky Is Falling. Want Our Umbrella?
3 Hey, Fatso, You’re Too Skinny
SECTION TWO 0% Interest . . . On ANY Level
4 Toto, We Aren’t in Kansas Anymore
5 One-String Fiddle
6 Free at Last? Not by a Long Shot!
SECTION THREE The Ignoble Art of Customer Elimination
7 There’s a Flaw in My Soup
8 Software by Softheads
9 I Dub Thee Sir (Sur) Charge!
10 Everybody Wants to Get into the Act
11 Technology Outstrips Psychology
12 Bonfire of the Vanity
SECTION FOUR The Nuthouse Is Open for Business
14 Speaking of Celebrities, Whatever Happened to Arnold Palmer?
15 I Guarantee® That My¹ Guarantee® Is² Guaranteed® to Guarantee®
16 In Love … with Whoever Answers the Phone
17 Check and Double-Check
18 Up to No Good
19 Tower of Babel … No, Make That Babble
What the experts are saying about Asinine Advertising
Rules, Tools, Forms and Lists for Both Printed and
Remember what John Wanamaker said
about wasting half his advertising dollars? Too bad he couldn’t
have read this great book. With true expertise and a great sense
of humor, Lewis illuminates the path to recognizing inept and
unethical ads and offers valuable insights into developing
marketing that generates greater response and increased revenue.
It’s a must-read.
– Todd Simon
Senior Vice President, Omaha Steaks
Herschell has the wealth of
copywriting knowledge and experience to help ensure that your
marketing messages are sublime—and, more important,
effective—rather than asinine. And he has the hearty skepticism
and cynical wit to make the process fun as well.
Multichannel Merchant (formerly Catalog Age)
Another brilliant piece of industry
observation—rueful in picking over examples of poor modern
marketing, and rib-tickling: the hilarious conversation with a
telemarketer will live with me forever. The man may be a prolific
author, guru and all-round good egg(head), but he’s also a comic
genius. Yet more bang-up-to-date wit and wisdom from the King of
Copywriting. Long may he reign!
– Sally Hooton
Direct Marketing International
If you chose to read one book to
enlighten you and entertain you on what not to do in advertising,
while teaching you what to do, this is it. Those of us who have
utilized Herschell’s creative talents know that he delivers
results. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to
maximize their return on investment in advertising by avoiding
pitfalls. Whether you are an expert or a beginner, there are many
nuggets of gold here.
– David W. Marold
Direct Marketing, AAA Insurance
If you’re (not your) a Herschell
Gordon Lewis fan, then this book is a must read. Herschell’s
ascerbic writing and insight instruct anyone interested in
communicating a marketing message how to do it in a compelling and
intelligent manner and in a way that will raise response and not
insult the reader.
– Dick Goldsmith
The Horah Group
Author, Direct Mail for Dummies
About the Author of Asinine
Herschell Gordon Lewis is
one of the leading copywriters of the past half-century. He is
author of 27 books, including Marketing Mayhem, The Advertising
Age Handbook of Advertising, Selling on the Net, and Sales Letters
That Sizzle. Mr. Lewis has written for many trade
publications, including Direct, Direct Marketing Magazine,
Selling, 1 to 1, Direct Marketing News, and is the copy
columnist for Catalog Age. He also has addressed
advertising and marketing audiences around the world. In 2003, he
was inducted into the Direct Marketing Hall of Fame.
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